To Have Loved and Lost
by Warrioress of the Fang
Summary: Inuyasha hasn't been the same since his girlfriend Kikyo's death in December. Nearly a year later he meets Kagome, a girl who looks so much like Kikyo he can hardly stand it. Can she warm his heart of ice so he may love again? Based on my life story. R&R!
1. Death

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I'm writing this based on my own life with a fictional twist. My boyfriend, Eric Davis, passed away December 19th, 2010. Inuyasha will be very depressed for a long time in this story, because he is based off of myself. I figured this would be a good way to vent and write like I used to. I hope you like it. Please review...feedback is always a treasure.**

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><p>"I'm so sorry for your loss, Inuyasha."<p>

_You say that, but do you mean it?_

"I know how much you loved her."

_You all know nothing._

"She was too young to die."

_Apparently not, otherwise we wouldn't be here right now._

"She was such a nice girl."

_You barely knew her. Quit pretending. Just stop it. Don't act like you understand how I feel. You can only imagine what kind of pain this is. You're not sorry. No, you're glad. You're glad it happened to me instead of you. I don't need your sympathy. Especially when it's a big, fat lie._

_You all make me sick!_

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><p>Inuyasha stayed at her burial site long after everyone had left. His older brother and his friends all tried to stay behind with him, but he said he would be fine by himself and he would just walk home later. He knew they all were reluctant to grant his wish, but they all knew he needed time to be alone with what was left of her.<p>

His brother merely nodded in silent understanding and made a swift exit. His friends Sango and Miroku each hugged him, said to call if they were needed, and went their separate ways. He watched them all leave the cemetary and once they were out of sight he turned to face her stone.

"Kikyo. This isn't really happening, is it?"

He fell to his knees instantly and at last he finally gave in to the tears that had been fighting to escape ever since he had arrived. He sobbed and sobbed, crying out in pain and frustration and anger and pure sorrow. He was lost without her. She was his whole life, his everything.

Why did this have to happen? Everything was going so well between the two of them. He had honestly believe that nothing could ever touch them or tear them apart.

But he was wrong. Death had proved him wrong.

Every time he took a breath it was like he could feel all of his insides shake. He felt like he would fall to the ground in pieces any minute now. How could he still sit up right now when he felt like lying down and never getting back up? His body felt as though it would cave into itself with every memory of Kikyo and him that came crashing through his mind. The force of the pain and sadness hit him like violent waves of a tsunami. It was such an intense, indescribable feeling. So intense that no one could ever hope to put their finger on it. The best way Inuyasha could put it was that his soul was on the verge of breaking and he felt like he could lose himself at any given moment.

He could have fallen on the ground before his dead love's grave and never gotten back up, if he had chosen to. He never wanted to move again. Never wanted to do anything ever again. Nothing was worth it anymore. His reason for even living was dead.

Her death had come out of nowhere. Kikyo had randomly left home on a cold December night with her friend, Naraku, and gone to a party. Inuyasha had known Naraku and knew for a fact he posed no threat to his and Kikyo's relationship. Inuyasha was supposed to see her that night. But he wasn't able to get in touch with her. She wasn't home and she wasn't at Naraku's or with Sango or Miroku. She also didn't have a cell phone of her own and no one knew exactly where the party was being held.

Kikyo was reported missing the next morning and Inuyasha had received a phone call from Kikyo's sister, Kaede. Immediately he had driven out with her to help search for Kikyo. They called the police, and they eventually showed up. Then the ambulance came. Inside it was a body, they were told, and she sounded like what they had described about the missing girl. Inuyasha and Kaede had stepped inside of the ambulance and watched as the body bag was opened slowly. As soon as he saw her hair he knew it was her. Kaede did too because instantly she was in tears. It was a sight Inuyasha would never forget for the rest of his life.

No one would know any details until an autopsy report came through. All they knew was the story the police had come up with the day she was found. She had apparently been drinking and decided to go for a walk down the road. She stole a vehicle that still had keys inside and ran it into a tree, then into a pond. After that she crawled out the back and tried to go up the hill surrounding the pond. It was there she could go on no more. She stopped crawling and froze to death.

Inuyasha punched the ground angrily. If only he had tried harder to find her the night of the party. He could have protected her! Why didn't she call him with another person's phone? Why?

**"WHY, KIKYO? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?"** he yelled in a broken outcry of agony.

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><p>Once it was dark, Inuyasha decided he needed to head home. He had to pull himself away from her gravesite to make his way out of the cemetary. He walked all the way across town, staring right ahead of him. He didn't really take much notice in the business surrounding him. He didn't care anymore. When he arrived at his house he unlocked the door and came in, locking it behind him. Sesshomaru was sitting on the couch in their living room holding a cup of sake and watching the news. He looked up at Inuyasha as he entered, but said nothing. Inuyasha glanced back at him before wordlessly ascending the stairs leading to his room.<p>

Sesshomaru sighed and shook his head. "He just can't catch a break, can he?" He grew tired of the news shortly after they started talking about Kikyo's death and changed the channel.

Once he was in his room, Inuyasha shrugged out of his formal clothes he'd worn to the funeral service and redressed himself in his pajamas. He plopped onto his back on his bed, facing up toward the ceiling. He lay there for a long while, it felt like, staring up. He snapped back to reality and rolled over after several minutes to face his night stand. On it was a picture of Kikyo wearing a whtie sundress and smiling, bordered by a simple black frame.

That was the beginning of many nights that he would cry himself to sleep.

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><p><strong>AN: I know, I know. It's sad. Kikyo's death is exactly what Eric's was like. The only difference is that I had to ID his body with his mother. Truly, I'll never forget him. Just like Inuyasha will never forget Kikyo. I felt that since Kikyo died in the original anime it would make it easier to use her for this kind of story. I'll bring Kagome in soon, promise. Please review, I'd like to get this out there.**


	2. How Do I Know?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Sorry for the wait. I just finished my written copy of this today. Hope you enjoy the read.**

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><p>Inuyasha said one last prayer before he turned away, leaving burning incense and a bouquet of red roses behind him. It was getting easier, he had to admit, leaving that place. He was getting better at not turning to look back as he got farther and farther away from the cemetery.<p>

His birthday for the year had come and gone in the blink of an eye. Now he was twenty three and still feeling like he was an old man. His grieving for Kikyo had worn him down to the bone. He was always more tired these days. He took longer to get out of bed. He didn't eat as much and had been losing some weight. It took more out of him to be at work and pretend he was fine, when all he really wanted to do was fall to the floor and die.

Ten months now, and the pain still cut him so deep that sometimes it was hard to breathe.

After the autopsy was finished and all the necessary paperwork had come through, the police had visited Kikyo's home to tell her younger sister Kaede and Inuyasha the results. They had explained that Kikyo had been extremely intoxicated the night she passed, and traces of drugs were found in her system as well; such as cocaine and marijuana. Everyone who was at the party that fateful night was interrogated and the stories were very similar: Kikyo was last seen at the house around one to two in the morning and next thing they knew, she was gone.

She had told everyone that she wanted to go home. She just needed to _get home_. Everything in her wallet was gone, and her keys had been taken, they assumed when she started drinking. Everyone else had also obviously been drunk otherwise she could have found a ride home. At least, that's what they liked to think now.

She stole the truck belonging to a resident at the end of the road and ran into a tree in his yard. Then she drove it into the pond behind his home and left it there.

But there were a number of things that _didn't_ make sense.

Kikyo's blood had been found inside the truck. And her nose was broken. There was a dent on the passenger side glove box that matched the measurements of her nose. How could Kikyo have stolen a vehicle, which was very unlike her to begin with, if she was riding in the passenger seat?

The cops also had to be told by Inuyasha himself to take fingerprints and check the truck. Why should he have to tell them how to do their job?

Naraku claimed not to remember much after he last saw her. He never knew she left, he was too drunk. Inuyasha didn't believe him, but knew he couldn't do anything except for cut off all ties to him forever. Inuyasha definitely didn't trust him anymore.

Inuyasha had gone back to that road to see exactly where Kikyo had died. Once in the daytime, and once when it was dark so he could observe the land. At night, the path leading to where the stolen truck was parked was completely covered in darkness. How could a drunk Kikyo have known there was a truck there? It didn't make sense. Even Inuyasha wouldn't have thought to walk into unknown territory in the dark, especially if he had been drinking.

After that day, Inuyasha also never trusted the police again.

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><p>Inuyasha entered the little coffee shop and removed his jacket. Sango and Miroku were already seated at a table, waiting for him. He smiled slightly as he approached them and took a seat.<p>

"How's it going, you guys?" he greeted.

"Fine. We just came from her father's house." Miroku answered. He rolled his eyes.

Sango gently shoved him. "Don't act like it's such a horrible thing. You lived."

"He's the devil. Every time I go over there he looks at me like he wants to kill me where I stand!"

"You're exaggerating."It was Sango's turn to roll her eyes.

"Have you met her father? I'm pretty sure he's at least related to Satan."

"Miroku, cut it out before your woman throttles you." Inuyasha chuckled. Miroku sighed in defeat.

Inuyasha leaned back in his seat. It was almost as if nothing in the world had changed since Kikyo's death. Except now there was a hole in his chest that throbbed whenever he was lonely, whenever he longed to hold her, to kiss her lips again. It happened when he was surrounded by others more often than not. It sometimes hurt to watch his best friends be in love and be happy together when he didn't have what he once had. It just wasn't fair.

He exhaled and stretched a little. "Guess I should go order my coffee now, huh?"

"Yeah, I think the manager over there is giving you the stink-eye." Sango smirked.

Inuyasha looked over at the manager, waved apologetically, and went to stand in line. He was gazing at the menu trying to decide between a latte or something more flavored, like a mocha or something, when his ears burned and twitched atop his head. They sensed someone staring at him from behind. He slowly turned, hoping to be discreet, only to find a girl maybe a little younger than he was looking up at him. Very intently. He looked back at her and when she didn't look away he raised an eye brow.

"Uh, can I help you with something?"

She stared at him silently for about another ten seconds before she replied. "Sorry. I just really like your hair color. And your ears."

Inuyasha wasn't sure how he should respond to that. He gave her a mildly weird look before replying, "Um, thank you?"

She smiled softly. She seemed a little embarrassed about being caught. She had brown eyes, warm and approachable. Her hair was black as night and down to her mid-back. She was at least a foot shorter than he. She was quite pretty, with a brown coat, yellow scarf, jeans and black boots. Now that he was really looking at her, she reminded him a lot of Kikyo.

Weird. He felt his nerves go wild at the realization. He politely nodded at her and turned back around, trying to make sure he could breathe normally again. Then came a tap on his shoulder. So light, he almost didn't notice. He turned back around.

"I'm sorry. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go out for a drink sometime?"

**Woah. Woooaaah. Wait.** Was she asking him out on a date? Seriously? He hadn't been on a date in months. He wasn't sure if he was ready, if he even remembered what going on a date entailed and felt like. So out of fear of the unknown, of course he had to say no.

"I'm sorry. I'm flattered, but I'm not seeing anyone right now."

She looked momentarily discouraged, then a shy smile replaced the expression."I see. Well, my name is Kagome. May I at least know your name, sir? At least next time we both get coffee we can say hello to each other, right?"

He had to hand it to her, she didn't give up as easily as he expected. She was determined to make his acquaintance. He felt like a jerk for rejecting the beauty, so he submitted himself to her request. "It's Inuyasha."

She smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Inuyasha." Then she looked troubled. "Oh my. I've been holding you up. It's your turn to order."

He blushed and whirled around. "Sorry! I'll have a latte, please. Extra shot of espresso."

The server looked irritated by his delay but he made Inuyasha's latte without complaint. Inuyasha paid him, took his drink, and turned to go back. He nodded at Kagome before returning to his table.

"**Dude**! She was totally into you!" Miroku remarked.

"**Shh!** Keep your voice down! She's still in here." Inuyasha hissed.

Kagome walked past them and left the shop, her hot coffee at her lips.

"She's cute." Miroku added.

Sango nodded. "She is pretty."

"She asked me out."

"WHAT? And what did you say?" demanded Miroku.

"I told her no."

"WHY?"

"I just froze up. I don't know if I'm ready to date again, you guys. I don't know if I ever will be." Inuyasha almost groaned.

"There's no rush, Inuyasha." Sango said reassuringly.

Inuyasha just stared at his coffee and sighed. "No, there isn't a rush. But _how_ do I know? How do I know if I'm ready to move on?"

Miroku looked at him for a moment before responding, "Inuyasha, no one can answer those questions but you. But I will say this-you'll never know anything until you try. The decision, however, remains ultimately up to _you_."

Inuyasha looked up at him. He thought about Kikyo, and how much he loved her. He thought about how lonely he had been over the last ten months. He then thought about Kagome and her strange compliments. Something about her had touched him, weirdly enough, during their brief conversation. Something about her seemed to pull him in.

Maybe it was her eyes. They looked so much like Kikyo's.

Inuyasha abruptly stood up. "Be right back!" He booked it out the door.

Sango leaned against Miroku affectionately. "I'm proud of him. It's about time something changed for him-for the better."

Miroku nodded. "I agree. He deserves to be loved and to love again."

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><p>Inuyasha saw her turning a corner at the end of the sidewalk. He broke into a run. Hopefully he wouldn't lose her.<p>

"Wait! Kagome!" he yelled.

Kagome stopped and turned around, looking startled. Inuyasha came to a running stop in front of her.

"Inuyasha?" she said.

Funny, how nice his name sounded when she said it. He stood up straight and took a deep breath.

_Here goes nothing._

"I'd love to have a drink with you."

She was quiet for a moment, then she smiled so radiantly she put the sun to shame.

"Great! How about this Thursday about seven thirty? At the Pub in downtown, you heard of it? I can meet you there."

Inuyasha nodded. "I know the place. So, seven thirty?"

She nodded. "See you Thursday, Inuyasha." And with that, she walked away.

Inuyasha's heart hadn't beat this fast since the first time he ever told Kikyo he liked her.

He really hoped this wasn't a mistake.

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><p><strong>AN: Well, he's made the first step. Next chapter will be their date! Stay tuned, I'll try to have another chapter up before the week is out!<strong>


	3. It's Just a Drink

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Sorry it took so long for the update. I had it kinda figured out I've just been tired. Anyway, I hope you like this one. I threw in a bit of humor to lighten the mood some.**

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><p>Inuyasha finished buttoning his shirt and looked at his reflection in the mirror. The steam from his shower still bordered along the edges of the glass. Streaks from where he wiped most of it off distorted his image slightly, giving it an uneven, almost cloudy effect.<p>

His hair was already dry and falling down his back as usual. His shirt was red with the sleeves rolled up. His collar was folded and he left a few buttons undone at the top of the shirt. He wore jeans that were a dark blue and slim fit. Black and white Chucks covered his feet.

Too casual? Nah. If he was going to be relaxed, he needed to start by looking more relaxed. Besides, it was just a drink.

Just a drink with a girl who wasn't really his friend and who also looked like Kikyo.

He looked at the clock. It was going on seven now, so he took one last look in the mirror.

"You can do this. It's just a drink." He grumbled before leaving the bathroom. He repeated this over and over in his head as he made his way down the hall and started his descent down the stairs.

Sesshomaru was sitting in his usual place on the couch with his paper. The news was on, like it always was. Inuyasha came down the stairs and reached for his keys on the table.

"Going out? You look like you're dressed to impress." Sesshomaru said, looking up from his precious newspaper.

"I'm not trying to impress anybody." Inuyasha replied defensively.

"Really," Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows and took a whiff of the air above him. Being a dog demon, his sense of smell was great. "I smell some really fancy cologne."

Inuyasha blushed and growled. "I'm having a drink with a friend."

"Which friend?"

"Her name is Kagome."

"Oh, she's new."

"Don't get any ideas! She's just a friend!"

"Yes, brother, you've made that quite clear already. You don't need to be so defensive."

"Yeah? Well, you had that look."

"What look, pray tell?"

"The one you get when you're about to act like an arrogant prick." Inuyasha opened the door. "Later."

"Use protection!" Sesshomaru called before the door shut.

"**Fuck you**!" Then the door slammed.

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><p>Inuyasha could feel the butterflies in his stomach practically having seizures. He really hoped that if things didn't go well that either they would never meet again, or they might still be kind of friends.<p>

Hopefully.

He got out of his car and started walking toward the entrance to the Pub. He took a deep breath. _Remain calm_. He opened the door.

The bar was small. He didn't expect anything less out of a place that was located in downtown Tokyo. Most of the buildings were small and compacted on one block. He looked around and saw lamp lights dangling above the bar, dimly lit. Each table had its own lantern. There were only a few more people sitting at random tables. The floor was made of wood that creaked every now and then as he walked. He noticed a small stage on the far side. Currently no one was using. There were speakers in every corner of the big room playing sultry background music. The bar was definitely old, but still had some class to it.

Then he finally spotted her. She was sitting at the far corner of the bar. She was wearing a light green sweater that seemed to fit her like a glove. Along with dark blue skinny jeans with black boots, her image was stunning. Her hair seemed to have more wave in it today than it did during their first encounter. It looked lovely.

She turned her head as he approached and he watched as a smile formed on her lips. He tried to smile in return, but he was so nervous that it came out as more of a crooked, smirk-type thing. He couldn't make it reach his eyes, no. His eyes hadn't been happy for a long time now.

"Hey!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey." He nodded and took a seat next to her.

"How are you?"

"All right. How 'bout yourself?"

"I'm great. Just work and school has been kicking my butt here, recently." She shrugged.

"Oh, so you're in school? What's your major?"

"It's Culinary Arts. I go to Tokyo U."

"Oh, so you cook. Always a good quality."

"I'd certainly like to think so." She laughed. She waved the bartender over. "Hey, Shippo!"

"Hey there, Kagome." The bartender, Shippo, greeted. He had red hair pulled back in a ponytail, blue-green eyes, and a black shirt with jeans. Apparently Kagome came here a lot if she was on a first-name basis with the bartender. Maybe she was an alcoholic? Maybe she was crazy? That would be his luck.

"Can I get a strawberry daiquiri, please? And whatever he wants, too." She pointed at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha was startled. She was paying for his drink? Didn't see that one coming. "All right. A beer, please. Oh, and next round will be on me." He said, giving Kagome an insistent look.

She nodded in resignation. "You heard him, bartender. Now go do your job." Kagome teased.

Shippo smirked. "Don't force me to spit in your drink, Kagome. 'Cause I'll do it."

Kagome just laughed. "Kidding."

Inuyasha felt awkward, sitting with two strangers in a dark bar while they had a generally pleasant conversation. The only people he ever really smiled or laughed around were Sango, Miroku, and Kaede. Maybe Sesshomaru, on a good day. Maybe. But sitting here now and watching these two laugh and joke with each other made that hole in his chest throb a little. He wished he could remember how to be happy enough to laugh with someone he didn't even know. He just found himself not really wanting to anymore.

Their drinks were before them shortly after that. Maybe after that beer, he would feel better.

"So, what's your favorite food to cook?" he asked.

"I like baking sweets and cakes the best. Otherwise, it would have to be breakfast food."

Inuyasha nodded and took a good drink of his beer. "So, are you actually good or are you really failing all your classes?" he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

She chuckled after taking a sip of her daiquiri. "I'm passing with flying colors, actually."

The conversation was made up of every form of small talk he could manage, such as; favorite color (Hers was green), favorite food (Hers was muffins), favorite music (She listened to whatever suited her mood at the time), etcetera. During all of this, Inuyasha managed to finish his beer. He could feel the light buzz in his head. His body felt a little more relaxed now. _Good_, he thought, maybe he could actually talk about something a bit deeper than favorite things.

**"My girlfriend died last year."** He suddenly said. He felt his brain drop into his stomach. **_Too deep! WAY too deep! Did I really just say that?_**

He proceeded to mentally freak out and berate himself as he looked away from Kagome in shame.

"Well." Kagome said quietly. "I'm so sorry. What happened to her, if you don't mind me asking?"

Inuyasha looked at her after a moment of silent reception. She wasn't upset? Who brings stuff like that up on a first date? An idiot. And who would sit there and accept it as if it were just another part of a normal conversation? A very nice girl, apparently.

Strangely enough, he didn't feel any kind of awkward tension from her. Weird, because he would have figured things would have gone from nice to extremely awkward. Kagome continued to surprise him.

He finally said, "She was in an accident. I don't think that's what it was, but that's what the police said."

"Shippo, could we get another round, please?" Kagome called out. "That's horrible, Inuyasha. It really is. I know how it feels to lose someone, granted it's not exactly the same, but I lost my father when I was very young. All I have is my mom, brother, and grandfather. I don't really remember much about my father, honestly. Growing up not knowing him was hard."

"Sorry to hear that." He immediately drank a quarter of his new beer before continuing, "I lost both of my parents at a young age so all I had was my brother, well, half-brother. Then along came Kikyo. We were only together for half a year, if that. I know that isn't a very long time, but we had something deep and special. Sometimes I think I might be okay enough to get by every day and get up and do what I'm supposed to do in life. Other times I feel stuck in this pain, like it's impossible to get over this."

Kagome frowned sympathetically. "That explains why you were a bit reluctant about going out with me. I'm sorry if I put too much pressure on you at all."

He shook his head. "I'm the one who should be sorry for bringing this up so suddenly. Beer does that to me."

"It's fine. It's good to talk about things like that." She said softly.

"I suppose it is."

"Inuyasha, can I be honest with you about something?"

He gave her a curious look. "Sure."

"There's something that happens every time I look at you. From the moment I noticed you in the coffee shop. I just feel…drawn to you. It's really weird, but I can't control it." She seemed nervous about telling him this. But considering how rude he had just been, he figured it was nothing in comparison.

"Wow. Does this happen every time you run into a devilishly handsome man?" he smirked.

She grinned, relieved he wasn't freaked out. "No, that's the weird part. It's only happening with you."

Inuyasha took another drink. "Well, maybe we were meant to meet? Maybe we were meant to be friends in this life?"

"Yeah, maybe." Her face looked doubtful, though.

He didn't want to admit it, but something was drawing him to Kagome a little, too. He didn't understand it, since he barely knew her. But for some reason, he sort of felt like he actually did know her, and that he had for quite some time.

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><p>Later on, they decided to end the drinking and let the date come to an end. They stood outside by Kagome's car afterward.<p>

"Thanks again for coming today. I really enjoyed myself." She said.

"You're welcome. Thanks for asking me." He held his arms out for a hug. Kagome stepped into his embrace.

Something crazy happened. He could tell she felt it, too. Because both of them were suddenly holding each other more tightly. They both pulled away slightly and made eye contact. Next thing Inuyasha knew, her lips met his and it was like fireworks were going off in his heart. It felt so right, so true.

Exactly like how he felt while kissing Kikyo. He abruptly pulled away.

_She's not Kikyo! She's **not**!_

"Uh, I'm sorry! I gotta…" and with that, he took off to his own car and drove away.

Kagome touched her lips and watched him go. And with a voice she hardly recognized as her own, she murmured, "Inuyasha, don't go."

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><p><strong>AN: Well? Please lemme know what you think. I wonder if anyone can figure out how I'm going to get these two together? Hm. I'll try to update again next week. Stay tuned! =]**


	4. The Dream Visit

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any other of its respective characters. It's been 3 years and I am so sorry. I've had my ups and downs with my writing and I'm finally, FINALLY, getting back into my groove. It's a slow going process and there may be decent gaps between my chapters. But it is definitely my goal to finish all of my incomplete work on this site. This chapter is very short, but very insightful. I actually wrote it a long time ago just never added more so I'm submitting what I do have to get back on the ball with this story. I hope you like!**

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><p>Inuyasha lay awake in bed long before his alarm clock was due to sound off. He stared hard at his ceiling, a contemplative look on his face. He had just woken up from the craziest dream. It had been about Kikyo, which wasn't entirely unusual. This dream, however, was different. This time, instead of remembering only bits and pieces, he remembered everything...<p>

_"Inuyasha..." he heard her voice softly calling his name. "Inuyasha, it's me."_

_Inuyasha sat up and looked around him. The scenery before him nearly made him cry from the emotion it stirred inside him. He was sitting on the hill he had found with Kikyo last year. It was a beautiful place away from the city and the people where they'd gone to be alone many times. _

_Wildflowers of all colors and sizes decorated the entire hill. Butterflies fluttered about, jumping from one flower to another. The sky above him was a perfect blue with few white clouds that looked softer than he'd ever seen. At the base of the hill was a blue lake so clear you could see the reflection of the clouds on it. The sun was shining brilliantly and the air felt comfortably warm and clear. This was paradise._

_He could feel a presence by his side, gentle and loving. He turned his head and there was his love, Kikyo, sitting there smiling at him. She was wearing a beautiful white gown and her black hair was long and flowling freely behind her back. Her brown eyes were glistening with tears as she reached up to touch his face._

_Tears finally came and fell down his cheeks. "Kikyo? Is it really...you?"_

_She nodded. "Yes. It's really me."_

_His hand flew up to cover hers and he suddenly embraced her. She felt so inrecidbly real. He could feel her warm, soft skin. He could hear her heart beat, smell her amazing scent that was unique and all her own._

_"I've missed you so much." he whispered._

_"I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I had to leave you like that." She was crying now, too._

_They held each other for what felt like forever, but when they finally let go, it didn't feel nearly long enough._

_"Am I dreaming?" he asked her._

_She smiled a sad smile. "Yes, but what's happening right now is very real. I had to wait a long time, but eventually I was able to learn how to break through your wall so I could speak with you this way. I had to build up strength, because it wasn't easy. Talking to the living through dreams isn't something the dead are allowed to do forever, but only if they have unfinished business."_

_Inuyasha's face grew dark. "You __**were **__murdered! I __**knew **__it! I'll find them and kill them all!"_

_Kikyo reached out and took his face in both of her hands. "No, Inuyasha. You musn't act rashly or this will all be in vain. No, I am here to give you a message. You can't go after everyone and hurt them because you'll give in to your hatred and the demon in you will take over. You must keep a clear head, and work with Kagome to uncover the truth about my demise."_

_Inuyasha was so angry he could barely stand it. When she mentioned Kagome, it startled him. His eyes went wide with shock. "Wait. You know about her?"_

_"Yes, I do. I have placed a piece of my own soul within her. She hardly notices the difference, which is why I chose her. I could only do it with her, you see. It's called reincarnation, and I may only give away half of my soul to a living thing, but it must be a perfect match."_

_"Why?"_

_"I wanted a part of me to always be with you. That's why she's so interested in you even though she hasn't known you long at all. My spirit within her soul can help you find answers about what happened that night."_

_She smiled and kissed him. When she pulled away, she was crying again. "Inuyasha, I love you so much. I don't know when I'll be able to do this again, because it takes up so much of my strength. I've been waiting and practicing. I had to do this now. I had to see you. I wanted you to feel me with you."_

_"Are you going, now?" Inuyasha asked, though he already knew the answer._

_She nodded slowly, stalling the inevitable. She leaned against him. "I'll come see you again as soon as I can."_

_"You mentioned Kagome. She has to actually help me? She barely knows me."_

_"But she wants to know you. And she's the only one who can help you."_

_"Oh, right. Your soul. But what if...I've already..." he thought about the sudden kiss he shared with Kagome the day before. His head hung a little lower, ashamed._

_"Inuyasha, don't worry. Your heart will need time to heal. Let your feelings run their course. I will not be upset. The girl didn't need much pushing to talk to you. Don't be ashamed of wanting more with her. Even if she didn't have a part of me inside her, I would not be angry. No, Inuyasha. You are alive and I am not. There's no reason for you to hold back your own happiness just because I am no longer there to be a part of it. Take your time. It's all ultimately your decision." she smiled. _

_She was so kind and understanding. How could he go on without that love in his life? But he ignored these feelings and rolled his eyes. "You sound just like Miroku."_

_Kikyo laughed, and it sounded like music to his ears..._

* * *

><p><em>Does that mean I was meant to be with Kagome and not Kikyo?<em>

"That can't be...can it?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There you have it. Tying some ends together to begin something new. If anyone has any ideas or thoughts at all feel free to share. By now you already know the basic plot so I accept anyone's help for development. I will do my best to write more by next week!**


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